(pardon this blend of humor in todays pc climate with a twist of lemon)
Hickory dickery dock, three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, the other two escaped with broken legs……..and soon filed a lawsuit against the owner for an unsafe clock. The mice won hands down.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jack was charged with trespassing and Jill complained of sexism that she had to carry a galvanized pail of water, while the Fish and Game commission examined the pail for illegal earthworms. They found none, but by this time Jill’s feet were sore because of her high heels, and threatened Jack with a lawsuit saying he caused her to tumble-down the hill. I say it was the shoes.
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner. He was accused of putting glue in Ms. Muffets hair. It was really a spider’s web, because the young lass tricked Jack into eating whey too much curds. It made him nimble and quick, and jumped like a Mexican bean over the candle stick, and the paraffin Police busted him for waxing eloquently without a permit.
Mary had a little lamb, and she was continually fleeced by the IRS, harassed by the Farm bureau for not having fencing, and cited for a jaywalking lamb. But nobody seemed moved when Old MacDonald had that farm. Seems a bit prejudicial. Anyway, she appealed and won when the school board agreed that her lamb was an example of a faithful and model student, and that her lamb did not cause global warming.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat. Why? Because the breakfast nazis accused his lean wife of making covert doughnuts. Nothing happened though, due to the evidence being licked clean. Yep, ‘fat free’ is the fault of fairy tales.
Who was it that huffed and puffed and blew the house down? Not the wolf, because his days were numbered and ended as a pot of soup. But not before the three little pigs had to endure a long court battle for a defective chimney cap which led to the wolf’s demise. They won though, for it was proved the wolf knowingly and willingly scaled the roof. The owl attorney named jack was a big help.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Huge mistake. He forgot to clock out for break, and was notified he had to appear before the Labor Relations board. Imagine his chagrin as he rocked back and forth, and fainted…. but there has been talk of a cold case being opened due to new allegations regarding the kings horses and men.
Gotta love the old nursery rhymes, but I do not care one whit about pc, and the devilish effects it has on common sense which permeates just about everything. Now then, is there a greater tale to be told?
Yep, for children raised on such harmless stories know the difference between truth and endless fables. They know a carpenters table is not made accidentally, and they know God made the tree for the carpenter to make the table. They innately know God’s word is good. They know God made great whales as the supreme guests of the seas. They know that the eagles wings were not given to man. They know there is an absolute and ultimate Authority.
They simply need to be told by more ‘advanced’ minds that there is no difference between little Red riding Hood, and Joseph and his coat of many colors. Please.
Fortunately, there is the human conscience, that untaught great equalizer that recognizes lies, and knows truth from error, light from darkness, and instantly separates the brothers Grimm from the book of Esther.
All it takes is a big bad wolf to steal the joy from the little ones, or to suggest that the earth and all that is, the heavens and all that is, are a fabrication no different from little Bobby Shaftoe.
‘Be careful that ye offend not one of these little ones who believe in me………..’