‘Associate to aisle 2 please’

A man was working with a table saw and placed a piece of oak on the metal fence and ripped it clean. Oops, he also extended his hand a bit too far and cut off his second finger.

Image result for missing finger

‘Dang’ he said, and turned off the power saw.  ‘Looks like we gotta go get us a finger,’ said his pal.

So off they went, yep, K-mart was out of stock, they thought of Wal-Mart, but opted for Home Depot.

Walking up and down the aisles, they saw nails but no fingers, they saw pipes and elbows but no fingers; they ran across legs for saw horses but no fingers; they found ear protectors, pads for knees, goggles for eyes, but still they found no fingers.

They grabbed a guy in a colorful vest and asked him where he kept the fingers, and he said: ‘sure follow me.’ With exuberant faces, the two trailed the pin cladded award winning associate as he proudly pointed to the ‘fingers.’ ‘Here ya go, what size ya need?’ Staring blankly, he with the missing finger said: ‘These are not fingers, they are flanges.’ Oops.

Being distressed, they thought of a jeweler who specialized in fingers. ‘See, I have this ring, and I need a finger to put it on.’ ‘Hmm,’ said the gem master, a real beauty there, but can’t help you. Did you try the grocery store?’

Off they went to Shop-n-Spend, and asked the clerk: ‘Finger section?’ ‘Yep, aisle 2, all the way in the back. I’ll page someone to help you.’ Being finally optimistic, they ran to aisle 2 only to be once more disappointed by a clerk pointing to package after package of ‘Vienna Fingers.’

‘Where the bleep can I buy a lousy finger?’ the fella asked his bud. ‘It appears no where on earth,’ and with this the alarm clock beeped at 5 am……..

On a more serious note.

It’s a never-ending story of excuses and bizarre thoughts as to the origin of man. Without a standard for life, man but guesses and foolishness flows from the faucet of pride and a heart of stone. The standard? God’s truth of course, which necessarily puts Him high above man since He alone created the finger.

ALL the attempts of the intellect of man apart from the Creator, are akin to going to the local store to purchase things that are not only unavailable, but cannot be had.  One may as well try to get milk from a turkey.  As far as ultimate truth, the mind of man is bankrupt without the Creator in his radar.

Buy the truth and sell it not is the sober reminder that fingers cannot be bought, nor can truth be sold.  Where the missing sock went is a mystery. Where the finger came from is clear as a bell.  It is no surprise then that the fingers of men are so comfortable working with the dirt of the ground, since men and women are but clay vessels.

But the man was a tad wrong when he suggested he needed a ‘lousy’ finger. Lousy? Lousy? LOUSY? Uh huh sure, as if a finger is not miraculous.

But to the skeptic: Need a finger? Buy it yourself. Aisle 2 maybe? Good luck with that.

(Brought to you courtesy of  ruths arguments, stating in agreement with vwisp, that the scriptures are somehow intellectually deficient. A lamenting tale that observation is. Yeah sure. Go into the lab, using nothing, and create a finger. A person will wear out his ‘intellect’ trying.)

https://violetwisp.wordpress.com/2015/11/16/some-poetry/#comments

 

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About ColorStorm

Blending the colorful issues of life with the unapologetic truth of scripture.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Genesis- in the beginning and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to ‘Associate to aisle 2 please’

  1. atimetoshare says:

    Good one. Made me laugh on this dreary, rainy day. Thanks!

    Like

  2. markthinks says:

    well said bit of truth – with a little entertainment thrown in too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. violetwisp says:

    I’ve got to hand it to you ColorStorm, that’s a classic! You’re almost as good as SOM.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ColorStorm says:

      Know what V? My fav was the part I hinted at, as in the associate hearing ‘phalanges’ for fingers, ie, plumbing ‘flanges.’

      The associate was a master Latinsmith with a slight hearing loss…….. yep, it’s a shame to see such wasted intellect in the many common believers who work wearing orange aprons, isn’t it.

      Then again, God has chosen the foolish things of the world….

      But don’t be so quick to dismiss this, keep hanging around violet, you are not far…………. 😉

      Like

  4. theancients says:

    It’s very revealing watching those who possess not the intellect to create a finger print, much more a finger, turn and point said finger in foolish mockery at their Creator.
    Talk about stupid and futile arrogance! because God cannot be mocked!

    the mind of man is bankrupt without the Creator in his radar – such a truth!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Wally Fry says:

    Good one bro.

    @Kathy. No dreary rainy day here. It is a deluge. I am a wet rat….with fingers

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What a delight this afternoon— being able to come home after a chaotic day only to play catch up in bogland, finding this delightful tongue and cheek, or should we say finger and cheek, tale—the smiles and chuckles feel great and the truth which is laced through this tale is always marvelous reassurance that God is truly the Great Designer —
    Hugs CS and thanks 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • ColorStorm says:

      Design? Ha, and then some. Interesting too how God created things after their kind………..people have noticed that benefit and arranged things after their ‘kind ‘ in stores. It sure makes finding things easy.

      It would be kinda dumb to put the bolts next to the lady locks 😉

      Tkx and back atcha

      Like

  7. Tricia says:

    Ha ha ha, ColorStorm, very clever! And it’s true, no? There’s no finger store to hop off to for replacement, just as there is no spa, yoga, class or retreat you can go on to “find” yourself. All must come from God.

    Sidebar here, my grandpa actually did slice had his thumb off with a saw when he was a young man and was not able to reattach it. I think this secretly pleased him as it sure brought on many stories and jokes throughout his life. It became who he was.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Funny, Colorstorm. Thanks for the chuckle! 😉

    I once knew a man missing two fingers. When he was just learning to crawl he reached under a lawn mower and hit the blade. It was a miracle he even survived back in the day. Anyway, he went on to become a very successful power tool salesman, and you guessed it, those two missing fingers were his ticket to success. He was funny and charming and scary with those stubs, but most of us were willing to buy just about anything he was selling. At the end of his life he often pondered how amazing it was that he lost those two fingers, how it had changed the whole course of his life, how he couldn’t have written his own story better if he had tried. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

    Ahem. It’s a terribly impolite fact to have to state, but it’s never scripture that’s “intellectually deficient.” Ouch, I know, but it is what it is. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • ColorStorm says:

      Great story on the lawnmower guy.Definitely set him apart.

      My dad too lost half a finger in a saw; a common theme here it seems.

      But the finger thing ms bytes was a bit of jest after thinking of the opening line of scripture. Space. Time. Matter. Yeah, a lot of old news there………..lots of mentally weak information.

      Uh huh, sure. It’s written in all the books of the world. ‘He made the stars also.’ Yep, more old news, nothing new here, move along.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. theancients says:

    “Ahem. It’s a terribly impolite fact to have to state, but it’s never scripture that’s “intellectually deficient.” Ouch, I know,”

    impolite perhaps, but thanks for stating what should have been obvious, lest the bankrupt mind professing to be wise continues strutting on in their naked folly.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wally Fry says:

    Two things. One, let my own mother join the missing finger due to lawn mower club. One of those old rotary push movers back in like 1941 or something. Kid dared her to stick a finger in and she did.

    Two. Intellectually deficient? I remember IB saying once that compared to God we are all morons.

    Liked by 2 people

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