Is this a joke or what

An atheist boasted that he knew ‘more’ of scripture than the average believer. Uh huh, sure.

Image result for laugh button

And did you hear the one about the goldfish who tried to teach a monkey how to tie his shoes?

That’s right, the goldfish was willing, but the monkey was late for the appointment. Oh well, I guess the old ape will have to wait zillions of years for the next appointment………..after he learns to read a bus schedule, and gets a few lessons on scuba diving.

Point here? The scriptures are a closed book to the atheist, he CANNOT understand that which he calls fraudulent. He that cometh to God must believe that He IS, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him.

Interpretation:

do you seek Him?

do you believe that He is?

do you seek Him diligently?

do you believe that this book contains the word of life?

do you believe that the scriptures instruct in righteousness and godliness?

do you believe that the man Christ Jesus is the only and true Lord of heaven and earth?

No, no, no, no, no, aaaand no.

Hey Mr and Mrs atheist: please stop embarrassing yourself. The scriptures are a closed book to you insofar as understanding, and which truth is by invitation only. Your lack of proper attire puts you completely like a fish out of water. Goldfish do not wear tuxedos, so stop pretending.

I have never known, met, or heard of an atheist who understood the word of truth. Never. Not one. Ever. For God’s sake, the Pharisees had their hands full with the understanding of God’s revelation, but at least they had the sense to admit the obvious that yes, there is a God in heaven with whom all men have to do, even though they were a bit off as to the person, work, and worth of Christ.

It would be far better to avoid completely that which you have no need for, than to suggest to yourself that you ‘understand’ that which you say is nonsense. Some might even say as to your attire: your slip is showing.

And oh btw, it is possible for a so called atheist to understand the scriptures, but gee whiz, God must be at least given the courtesy of existing, which is really not asking too much, since in Him we live, move, and have our being. Yep, no joke, He is not far from us.

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About ColorStorm

Blending the colorful issues of life with the unapologetic truth of scripture.
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43 Responses to Is this a joke or what

  1. well you know what is said CS, that even the demons quote scripture…
    it’s like the joke…so two atheists walk into a bar…
    and on and on and on it goes….
    Always good stuff CS

    Liked by 2 people

    • ColorStorm says:

      Ah great reminder J:

      Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

      Indeed, he is no atheist, a rather humbling and troubling truth. And speak about laughter in this regard. Even he must be embarrassed at the uttermost recalcitrance of men.

      But the bar joke, tkx for that, cracks me up, and I don’t even know what it is, but I surely get the reference. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. archaeopteryx1 says:

    does Genesis state that the Bible’s god made whales, while paleontologists agree that whales evolved from……….*************

    CS SEZ: Stop right there. Must you persist in portraying the God of scripture, and the true God of life, as a ‘god,’ as in all the false characters of your own illusions?

    Your comment here on the great flood, the camels of Abraham, and your idiotic notion that whales walked like prairie dogs……on dry land…..is rejected. Why? First, God is God, singular, not ‘a’ ‘god,’ as if He has competitors. Second, I am under no obligation to allow your vile seeds in good dirt, with your hope, that others may pick your rotten fruit. Strong language? Ha, not strong enough.,

    But thks for once more proving the truth of this post, but do feel free, as you are wont, to paste your comment at your friends places, where you will be applauded for your godlessness.

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      No arch, it is actually thought quite through.

      You have the ‘god’s of Reebok, Nike, CNN, Olympus, Canon, Toyota, on and on, all ‘god’s’ to the wayward. Get it now?

      All things that steal affection from the ONLY living God.

      Like

    • archaeopteryx1 says:

      Do me a favor, (**************lame insult removed)- show me where I said that “whales walked like prairie dogs……,” which live in holes in the ground – not that I don’t trust you (hack, cough, choke), but please include a link to my actual prairie dog comment (**********lame insult removed)

      Oh, Hey – I have a great idea! You let me invite a recognized, PhD in Paleontology onto your board to discuss the origin of whales. Think of it! That would be your chance to show him how foolish he’s been, spending all those years studying paleontology, comparative anatomy, archaeology, etc., when all he really had to do was listen to a bunch of 3,000-year old, desert-dwelling Levite priests in Jerusalem, who probably never saw a whale in their lives, telling how your god folded his arms across his chest and blinked those whales into the sea!

      I’ll bet you could have him weeping and wailing in no time, CS, begging forgiveness for a life ill-spent!

      But no burying his comments in moderation, or censoring them like you do mine, (***********3rd lame insult removed) What do you say?

      (CS SEZ: the sarcasm of a whale walking like a ground hog escapes this commenter. Whales evolved from nothing on land. But yeah, I’m shaking in my boots that a so called professional could dismiss God’s creation in an afternoon of blogging. ‘He made the stars also.’ Yeah, maybe the godless mind could dream up the idea that an elephant had a sneezing attack for a thousand years and caused the sand in the desert to spue forth the stars………….Please go away)

      Like

  3. “Your slip is showing,” ha, well said.

    It is the hardest for me when the “believers” are “atheists” or the “atheists” claim to be “believers” or something, but than I remember this is how it’s always been. There really is nothing new under the sun. The pharisees, some good, but others nothing but a pit of vipers. Jesus Christ Himself had to deal with this and of course we are frequently reminded about false prophets and wolves in sheep’s clothing.

    I often say, if you don’t believe in God then you cannot understand scripture because you must let the Author read it to you. Another way of saying that is, “humble yourself and suddenly it will all make a great deal of sense.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ColorStorm says:

    That is so cool when you say (as you do) that the Author must be allowed to do the reading. Spot on. It is not the Readers Digest or Time mag; it is called the word of God for a reason. And yep, the key that unlocks the understanding is a correct heart, a contrite one even, as ‘humbling yourself’ suggests and demands.

    Paul too referred to what you mention, the perils within and without, false teachers, false apostles, angels of light, you name it, he was pressed on all sides, and although it was James who wrote of the ‘wisdom from above which is first pure,’ Paul certainly proved that the wisdom of God is foolishness to men, and God’s foolishness is wiser than men. His epistles are proof enough.

    Gotta love them scriptures ms bytes, and the iron sharpening iron.

    Like

  5. Tricia says:

    I always love a good joke but the Atheist claims of understanding the Bible are just plain tiring. I’ve often wondered though at why so many of them waste time even reading it when they don’t believe in the author? And then waste even more time arguing about it with Believers? Now that’s kind of funny I guess…..

    But a goldfish in a tuxedo? Hilarious I would imagine! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. KIA says:

    Ib says you must let the author read it to you. I used to agree as a Christian, but when you look at the sheer number and difference in denominational understandings of Scripture as they ‘let God read it to them’ and even differences of interpretation within denominations, the argument for the Holy spirit reading the same thing to all of these earnestly seeking and believing Christian disciples wears a bit thin, wouldn’t you say?

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      Nope, I would not say.

      Static on the radio is not the fault of Edison, Watson, Franklin, Samson, or Tommy Two Watts.

      Maybe you should consider that a bunch of people are trying to get it right…………

      and maybe you should consider the agreement, the music, the accord, the symphony that you see here and elsewhere on a regular basis with insanitybytes22, Wally Fry, CTom, RebeccaM, Is53, Ancients, Salvageable, Tricia, Julie (cookie), Recovlegalist, on and on and on and on.

      This is also no joke, but further proof that the Creator made the songbird.

      And btw, perhaps you should try another station?

      Liked by 2 people

      • KIA says:

        How does one know they are tuned correctly and all the others are not, when they equally think they are as correctly tuned as you do?

        Like

        • ColorStorm says:

          How does one know?
          Easy. Do you know the difference between light and day?

          Forget about me being ‘correctly tuned.’ The wisdom from above is FIRST pure. Do the math, and try to find fault with the believers I’ve mentioned. Tis a good radio station and you know it already.

          And you may want to consider the premise of this short post that the common ‘atheist’ knows nothing of scripture.

          Liked by 2 people

        • Citizen Tom says:

          The Bible is a book. We can pray for understanding, but the Bible is still a book. We have to know how to read, and we have to put ourselves in the shoes of the writer and people for whom each book of the Bible was originally written. That is, we have to practice a bit of empathy.

          Obviously, some of us will succeed better than others. In fact, since we are all different, each of us will make different mistakes. However, if we are humble, if we are willing to love each other as He commands, then even our differences will help us to understand Him better and bring us together in His Name.

          Like

  7. “How does one know they are tuned correctly and all the others are not, when they equally think they are as correctly tuned as you do?”

    You learn to discern and you come to know His voice. I am absolutely amazed by how I can speak to someone on the other side of the world, different language, different culture, but if we are both in Christ, we will both arrive at the same truth.

    I enjoy great theological debates, discussions, but even in the midst of heated conflicts, what we are actually fighting over is how best to live out scripture, how best to love one another. This comes through loud and clear and you can actually spot the people who are genuinely in Christ, who have Christ within them. You can also spot the rabble rousers who don’t really know Him yet.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Wally Fry says:

    Well, I came here fully planning to offer my advice and counsel regarding brain surgery. Guess I won’t now. I, have, however googled some stuff about it and really, really felt qualified.

    Thanks for popping my bubble.

    Liked by 2 people

    • David says:

      Wally, you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to understand brain surgery.

      (CS SEZ: Hey dave. Wally is agreeing with the premise of the post that the scriptures are a closed book to the atheist. The contents are only accurately revealed from faith to faith, since the origin is the living God.

      The natural man CANNOT understand the things of the Spirit of God, says the good book. Belief in the Creator of the brain is kinda important.

      Wally’s comment and observation in the context of this post is spot on.

      You can SAY you understand the scriptures all you want, but your own words betray you.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • David says:

        I understand what Wally was trying to say, but his analogy was not a very good one for the reasons stated. So his comment is not “spot on.”

        As for the rest, well, believe as you wish. I’m sure that it provides you with comfort.

        Like

        • ColorStorm says:

          You are simply showing your usual recalcitrance dave.

          Your brain surgery gripe is quite lame, as if ‘knowing’ all about it by ‘reading’ is akin to actually ‘doing.’ As ‘faith without works is dead,’ so too is reading scripture without understanding. You have made my point. Tkx.

          and don’t you dare bring up the word ‘flood.’ 😉

          Like

        • David says:

          Let me clarify. With any subject, there are levels or degrees of understanding. When you say that a non-believer cannot understand anything about the scriptures, you seem to suggest that in this case, understanding is all or nothing. Is this your intent? If so, that’s not how it works with brain surgery and non-brain surgeons.

          Like

        • ColorStorm says:

          For God’s sake dave use your brain. Wally was speaking of the ridiculousness of his own inability to be a surgeon……….having zero experience.

          His point in the context of the post is very good, and you are providing your usual acts of mulery.

          Read the post again before you honk your horn.

          (Wally, please take over………… 😉

          Like

        • Wally Fry says:

          David, simply put, I disagree.

          Not to say I am all that, but my comment was in fact spot on.

          Look, I said what I meant, and I meant what I said. My point was MY point. Not to be cantankerous, but exactly how is it you get to rework commenters thoughts into YOUR thoughts? Either you don’t realize you do it, or you do it on purpose..eh not for me to say.

          So, hows about you quit telling folks what they meant to say, or what they should have said, or how to say it correctly….and actually engage the content of comments?

          In the context of the post, what I said is valid. That content being that those not possessing the holy spirit can NOT properly dissect God’s Word? Why? Well, gee, the post rather explains that as well. I suggest you try reading it.

          You last comment, “believe as you wish.” Good plan, I will do just that and I suspect ColorStorm will as well.

          The real issue is….if we choose to do so…..it’s interesting that you are heck bent to stop that from happening. Ponder that one for a bit. Why..why..why?

          Peace

          Liked by 1 person

        • David says:

          Ah, so now the word has changed from “knowledge” to “experience.” Now you talk about “doing” instead of knowing. Well, if Wally goes to med school, then he can do brain surgery, too. It’s not a matter of “beliefs.” It’s a matter of knowledge and manual dexterity.

          CS SEZ: let me repeat one of my favorite words:

          R. E. C. A. L. C. I. T. R. A. N. C. E.

          Like

        • ColorStorm says:

          I know what Wally meant. Wally knows what he meant.

          As we (ie, those of us without training) are incapable of providing brain surgery, so too are the scriptures a closed book to you………..without understanding.

          For the love of God, you cannot even pound a nail without your God given brain.

          Your stubbornness knows no limits. But perhaps the real issue on the table is my assertion that the atheist is clueless as to scripture…………

          The ruling on the field stands. God’s word is good.

          Like

        • Wally Fry says:

          David

          I said what I meant, meant what I said. I know, I know, I am repeating myself. You don’t get to constantly change the parameters of the discussion. Really? Who appointed you the authority on what is allowable discussion or not? As long as you waste your life arguing over the method of a comment, you never have to discuss the content of a comment.

          Liked by 2 people

      • ColorStorm says:

        Good gravy, do you honk at the driver in front of you when the light changes to green………because he was a quarter of a second too slow to ‘go………..’

        Like

      • ColorStorm says:

        Yeah, the light turned to green…………

        Stop honking.

        Like

      • David says:

        Well, old boy, when it takes seven hours for the light to turn green, it’s not unreasonable to think its not going to turn.

        Like

  9. Salvageable says:

    One could distinguish head-knowledge from heart-knowledge. A believer who knows only the key messages of the Bible (God’s commands, God’s judgment, God’s mercy, God’s forgiveness) is far ahead of the atheist who can quote extensively from Scripture as well as from books that claim to describe the origins of Scripture. I’ve known both kinds of people. J.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. David says:

    Ok, we’ll forget about brain surgeons. Let’s see if I understand this post.

    Now, I don’t want to be accused of rewording, so I’d like to ask a few questions to see if I understand this. I wouldn’t want to be assuming any authority here.

    Are you saying that atheists cannot understand Christian scripture because (1) they don’t believe from the start that all parts are true or (2) is it because they don’t have the Holy Spirit to help them or (3) is it because they don’t have faith that Jesus is God or is it all of the above or none of the above? I ask because I want to be sure I don’t misunderstand what the prerequisites to understanding are here.

    Would the inability to understand also apply to non-Christian theists such as Muslims? In other words, in the context of this discussion, can we substitute “non-Christian” for “atheist?”

    When you say “cannot understand,” do you mean can’t understand any of the Christian scriptures or do you mean cannot understand just some or part of the scripture or do you mean cannot understand as much as a Christian? What is the extent of the lack of understand?

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      Here. Direct from the post dave.

      — The scriptures are a closed book to the atheist, he CANNOT understand that which he calls fraudulent. He that cometh to God must believe that He IS, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him.–

      Start there. Without you giving the Creator the courtesy of His own existence, and handiwork called life, indeed, the scriptures are sealed from you.

      (classic smokescreen though. What about you?)

      Like

    • David says:

      No smokescreen here. I’m constantly told that I reword or misinterpret or commit some other conversational sin. I’m simply trying to avoid these pitfalls.

      For example, I’m not sure how you define “atheist.” Depending on how you define this term, I’m not sure I qualify as an atheist. Hence, my question about whether or not we could substitute “non-Christian” for atheist.

      But assuming I’m not in the “cannot understand” camp, I’m not sure what it is that I cannot understand. For example, the scriptures say that a man named David was a king who lived in Jerusalem around 1000 BC. Well, I can understand this. I can understand the scriptures say that Jesus rose from the dead. It’s not that hard to understand. So it must be that there are some things in scripture that an “atheist” can understand, just not everything in scripture.

      And may I ask a question? Do you think that you have the capacity to understand radiometric dating or the theory of natural selection? If you chose to try to understand these things, do you think that you have the capacity to do so? I’m not being the least bit sarcastic here. The post is about what one can and cannot know, and I’m curious about what you think you could know and what you cannot know.

      Like

      • ColorStorm says:

        What you can ‘know’ is what separates you from a dairy cow. It is called being human.

        While things may be known through learning, and which knowledge shows no partiality to a thief or a farmer, the scriptures can only be known through the spirit of man through the spirit of God.

        Your reference that David lived is not a matter of understanding. It is a matter of fact.

        Now the doctrines of atonement, propitiation, the covenants of law and the rainbow, grace, the wages of sin, and such, require understanding that is foreign to a mind that defies the Creator. Simple really, as it should be.

        Like

  11. David says:

    I think you have a rather unusual definition of the word “understanding.”

    Now, using or applying your definition of “understanding,” do you think you have the ability to learn about and “understand” radiometric dating?

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      Stick to the premise of the post. The scriptures are a closed book to the mind that does not give the Creator the courtesy of existing.

      I have zero interest in accommodating your sideshows.

      Like

  12. David says:

    Oh, and if the book is open to believers, why can’t you all agree on what it says?

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      Finally a good question. I dare say what is agreed upon is clear as a bell, and the rest?

      That we may prove our mettle amid our differences. But not all truth is revealed at once, and there is a valuable lesson I believe.

      Not all are at the same mile marker in life.

      Like

  13. ColorStorm says:

    Start with math. Can you understand it without believing that your findings are truthful……..

    (it’s not a question)

    Like

    • ColorStorm says:

      May I refer you to premise of this short post.

      The word of God is not like any other book. You know this already. If you do not find it truthful, you cannot understand the content.

      Start with Genesis 1.1. I cannot help you any further. You have the same opportunity as I do.

      If you believe it, then you are well on your way to understanding what follows, and your questions to me will lessen.

      Like

  14. David says:

    You’re not all at the same mile marker? Well then, which one of you is at which mile marker? How can you tell? Who is where? When you disagree, who has the truth? Who is right and who is wrong when all parties have access to the Holy Spirit and have that understanding that is so lacking in atheists?

    If you have differences, then at least someone is wrong. This tells you that a given interpretation or “understanding” can be wrong, despite the alleged openness of the book, despite the access to the truth. Not surprising, of course since we’re fallible creatures.

    But if you can be wrong in the cases where you have differences, then you can be also be wrong about the things that you agree on. Perhaps you don’t have Truth after all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ColorStorm says:

      Congratulations dave. You have proven yet again your circular lack of interest in what is staring you in the face.

      For God’s sake, Peter and Paul had disagreements. So what. What they had in common was the glue that gave them grace in other things.

      But thkx for proving the essence of this short essay.

      Like

    • Citizen Tom says:

      @David

      I have to give you credit for stubbornness. Unfortunately, that epitomizes the problem.

      It is an old axiom. What we see depends upon where we stand. Imagine an open book. If you stand faraway, can you tell whether pages have anything written upon them. If you already believed the book worthless, would you divert yourself enough to pick it up and see what it says?

      What if you thought the book a mere curiosity, the imaginings of shepherds, villagers, and ancient priests? What if you had learned to ridicule those who believe that book to be true? Would you look for truth in the book, or would you look for what appear to be contradictions and errors in fact?

      What if you were a sinner? What if the book called for repentance, and you did not want to repent? What if you did not want to believe that book? What if you hated what it says?

      Liked by 2 people

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